Shining through the Sorrow

(My precious husband had the honor of speaking at this year's annual Young Life Banquet.  Held last night, we celebrated 75 years since the ministry has been introducing kids to Christ.  "Grateful.  Joyful.  Hopeful."  Below is his speech.) For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Kyle Dingle. I have been married to my beautiful wife Meghan for ten years and we have 5 children together. I am a 5 th grade teacher at Maugansville Elementary School and I love Young Life. Before I found out about YL, I was your pretty typical kid. I grew up here in Washington County. My parents, who are awesome, are sitting at my table tonight. They taught me all the right things growing up like how to be polite, to do well in school, and how to fix anything. My brother and I have a running joke that no matter what our significant others are interested in buying we say, “Well, heck I can build one of those.” Thanks Dad for that. Most importantly, my parents thought...

Kyle and I had the honor of speaking at an Infant Loss Conference last month.  It was so great to share Gabriel with people who had a heart to hear about our journey and the various ways God has shown us His love along the way. We're also beyond thankful that our talk was recorded, and that we've been able to share it with other grieving families.  You can watch our speech in its entirety below.  And as always, please feel free to share it with anyone you feel it may help.  Thanks, friends. https://vimeo.com/143517631 Our beautifully decorated table. With the Event Creator, Branda Yeargan. Kyle and I posing before we got started.

So, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm back on the Facebook.  When I made the decision to "break up" with the social media site, my twin brother encouraged me to not be gone for long.  He said I had too much of a "following," speaking specifically of those friends I have just because of what I've endured with the loss of my Gabe .  First of all - Thank you, FB friends, for not pointing out the obvious and poking fun at the fact that I have gone back on my word and returned.  Secondly, I must say, I've only been "back" for a number of days now and it's already been so obvious to me why I left.  The negative people are still negative, and the gamers are still requesting I play along.  And one truth remains - This world is full of so much sadness. But guess what?  I don't think I'm going anywhere.  While there's a million reasons to not be on FB, I honestly feel like God has shown me today that it is a mission field fo...

Waiting on Ruby's arrival was really tough for me.  Like, up there with carrying Gabriel to term.  Obviously, now that I have a healthy baby girl in my arms, this seems ridiculous.  But, alas, it's how I felt in the waiting period. I was growing more and more impatient, anxious, and bitter.  It's not a good state of mind to be in.  I knew all I could do was cry out to Jesus, and everyday that she didn't come, and I felt like He didn't hear me, I wanted to grow further away from Him. It's funny how we say we believe that God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and yet we try to put Him in our own little box, limiting the way we view His knowledge and abilities.  We say we trust in His timing, but then we softly remind Him of our own agenda. There were several days I thought would be perfect birthdays for my Ruby.  Father's Day.  Our 8 year wedding anniversary.  June 26th just cause it was 6/26 and I liked the repeating 6's.  Hey, I was ...

I just returned from a Women's Weekend and am feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.  Because of my short break - which gave me a chance to fellowship with awesome women, hear amazing speakers, and draw closer to my God - I have started this week with a newly renewed passion to be a better wife and momma.  And yet... there is a cloud hovering because of what this month represents. Through biblical teaching, I was reminded of so many amazing truths this weekend:  Our joy is not based on our circumstances, but on our relationship with Christ.  Somewhere along the way, "we bought into the fairy tale that our good works, plus God's great blessings , would equal a happy ever after ."  But God never promised us this.  As we endure troubles, "we long to be like the strong lighthouse, which stands strong even while the waves keep crashing upon us." We were asked, "What has to happen in our lives for us to realize our need for Jesus?  To start walking in faith...

I cringe easily.  It happens when I witness an awkward moment in person, and even when I'm watching something unfold on tv.  Or when I am thinking about something I said that I now regret.  Or something I should have said, but didn't.  Speaking of things we say... Ever since we lost Gabe, something else has made me cringe.  It's the well-meaning, good-intended kind wishes of people when they hear about someone's bad situation.  It was all the people telling us they were praying for a miracle after we got Gabriel's diagnosis.  It was finding out that all those people were mad at God when it was all said and done, because "God didn't hear their prayer."  And lately, it's been the person who tells the mom with cancer that they "know that God will heal" them, because they are in "God's favor." What?? Here's the deal, folks.  Our God is way bigger than some Guy in the Sky who does what we ask of Him.  He is all-knowing.  ...

After five months of shaking my head "no," I have decided to join my church's Counseling Ministry. Truth be told, I've been very busy convincing myself that the timing just wasn't right - being a stay at home mom with small children, due with another this June .  But there was no escaping the obvious tug my heart was feeling on a weekly basis - as I heard story after story of those who are hurting, and thought about how my skills could be used to help others.  I finally realized that it does not matter what I've got going on in MY life, I am being called to do this.  And to do it now. At first I assumed my "ministry" would be to pray for and walk along side other parents who are grieving.  Losing Gabriel has given me immense empathy for those dealing with grief and loss.  Because I've been blogging since April 2009 - I literally have pictures, words, and memories I can share with others, but I began to realize what a ...

I've been struggling with whether or not I wanted to revisit the Hell on Earth I was in before finding out that Rube Mae was healthy.  But, the Holy Spirit has been urging me to explain that awful waiting period.  So my prayer is that this blog entry speaks to someone... After a loss, pregnancy is very different.  I feel very fortunate that we had Joel before enduring the huge loss of Gabe.  We knew what "normal" was.  We brought a baby home from the hospital.  We had a healthy child.  And then you have a loss.  And everything changes.  Losing a child is really difficult, no matter what the circumstances, no matter the time period.  But, I can only speak from my own experience and for us the major "trigger" in subsequent pregnancies has been our anatomy scan at 20 weeks, because that is when we received Gabriel's fatal diagnosis.  That is the day our world flipped upside down.  April 29th, 2009. There's a term in Infant L...

To the outsider, to someone who simply doesn't "get it" - it may seem like I'm constantly doing things to honor the son that I had to bury.  Which doesn't necessarily sound like a bad thing, except that I've been accused of "celebrating death more than life," of doing more for a son who is no longer here than for the two children I am blessed to still have with me. I know I shouldn't care.  I know I don't need to defend myself.  But, here goes.  Explanation. Out of the 365 days a year, there are a few significant dates when it comes to Gabriel.  Most are sad, but one is a celebration - the day of his "angelversary," meaning the day he took his first and last breath - August 21st .  On this day, we welcome anyone to join us at his grave site to remember him.  Each year, we've been surrounded by lots of friends, and a few family members.  And every year I notice who is NOT there more than I notice who is. Another Gabriel dat...

So, not to brag or anything, but God has been talking to me a lot lately.   Not like an audible voice, or even via email, but I’m getting his message loud and clear.   The best way I can describe it is when a thought enters your mind quicker than you could think it.   I also feel like saying, “I’m getting it, God!!” when there seems to be the same theme everywhere I turn.   Lately that theme has been chaos. Have you ever felt life getting comfortable, and as soon as you realize it - you worry that it’s “The Calm before the Storm?”   That’s how I’ve been feeling lately - except that I’m not worried, I’m happily anticipating what’s next to come…    I’ve come to the realization that a comfortable life is nothing to strive for.   I mean this in every way possible.   Financially, Jesus said “ Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God,” Luke 6:20.   And to those who are grieving, He reminds us that “God ble...