Seeing Gabriel
I have known for weeks now that this blog needed to be written. But, it's hard to sit here and type it out for many reasons. First, there are three kids now. Wowsers. Life is crazy different with three. Second, we just moved and it seems every spare moment I have should be devoted to cleaning, organizing, arranging. And third, writing is very therapeutic for me, and I have been avoiding these feelings. Still, I know I have to get it out , so here goes. While pregnant with Ruby, it occurred to me that I could birth another baby that looked like Gabriel. I thought about how bittersweet that would be, realizing even before seeing her sweet face that it would be both amazing and painful. And as soon as Ruby was born, we started hearing that she looked just like Gabe. Someone even lovingly looked at me in the hospital and said, "You finally got your Gabriel!" Um, no. Some pointed out her chin, others her nose, and some said it was the eyes. Whatever it was, the