Shining through the Sorrow

Waiting on Ruby's arrival was really tough for me.  Like, up there with carrying Gabriel to term.  Obviously, now that I have a healthy baby girl in my arms, this seems ridiculous.  But, alas, it's how I felt in the waiting period. I was growing more and more impatient, anxious, and bitter.  It's not a good state of mind to be in.  I knew all I could do was cry out to Jesus, and everyday that she didn't come, and I felt like He didn't hear me, I wanted to grow further away from Him. It's funny how we say we believe that God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and yet we try to put Him in our own little box, limiting the way we view His knowledge and abilities.  We say we trust in His timing, but then we softly remind Him of our own agenda. There were several days I thought would be perfect birthdays for my Ruby.  Father's Day.  Our 8 year wedding anniversary.  June 26th just cause it was 6/26 and I liked the repeating 6's.  Hey, I was growing desperate

My precious baby girl is a week old today!  I figured I should write her birth story before I forget all the exciting details!  Here's the last photo taken of me pregnant with Ruby, three days overdue.  I'm on the left, posing with my sweet friend Branda, at her baby shower. Some Background Two Saturdays ago, I wrote about waiting on Ruby and described all the things I had been doing to get her to come out.  That following Monday I called the midwives' office and asked to come in to check on her, as I was growing more and more anxious.  I was hooked up to a monitor and it was determined that all was well.  I went back to a midwife appt on Wednesday for my official non-stress test and ultrasound - to basically do the same thing - determine that all was well.  I was checked and found to still be 3cm.  I left the appointment feeling very discouraged.  It certainly seems crazy now, but at the time I just felt like she was never going to come.  The next steps were laid o