Theme



So, not to brag or anything, but God has been talking to me a lot lately.  Not like an audible voice, or even via email, but I’m getting his message loud and clear.  The best way I can describe it is when a thought enters your mind quicker than you could think it.  I also feel like saying, “I’m getting it, God!!” when there seems to be the same theme everywhere I turn.  Lately that theme has been chaos.

Have you ever felt life getting comfortable, and as soon as you realize it - you worry that it’s “The Calm before the Storm?”  That’s how I’ve been feeling lately - except that I’m not worried, I’m happily anticipating what’s next to come…  

I’ve come to the realization that a comfortable life is nothing to strive for.  I mean this in every way possible.  Financially, Jesus said “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God,” Luke 6:20.  And to those who are grieving, He reminds us that “God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” Matthew 5:4.  

You see, being comfortable leaves you feeling like not only are you the one in control, but that you are doing a pretty swell job.  That’s the opposite of how I want to live my life.  I’m literally trying to get more chaos into my life!  I realize how crazy that sounds, especially in our selfish culture, but lately it’s become so obvious that if anything is of this world, it is not where God wants me to be.

I want to rely so heavily on Jesus, that the chaos causes me to be in constant communication with Him.  I want to live the lyrics from the song "Beautiful Things" I just heard on Sunday, “Out of chaos, life is being found in You.”  Thank you, Michael Gungor, for yet another reminder of this theme.

I think that’s why people who have gone through horrific situations secretly wish they were right back there.  Have you heard of this phenomenon?  Missionaries who were being persecuted, a son watching over an ill grandparent during the final days, a mom carrying a baby she knows will pass away.  There are things that happen in our lives that force us into this stronger relationship, and not all of them are that severe.  Wherever you find yourself today, I pray you have just the right amount of chaos to get out of “self” and poured into Him.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Table for Six

Image
It's been almost eight years since we had our Gabriel.  Since we lost our Gabriel.  Over the past several years, one child in this family has continued to talk about him the most.  Joel, now nine years old and the only sibling to have the chance to actually meet his brother, doesn't often speak his name these days.  He is, however, very protective of his "Gabey Bear" that he sleeps with every night, and goes to find when he's sad or hurt.  I'm still not sure Ruby, who just turned four, completely understands that she has a brother who is no longer with us.  The only photos she's ever seen of him are obviously baby pictures from the day he was born, but she does usually ask if every random picture she sees of a baby, is our Gabriel.  But our Zoe, almost six, talks about him all the time.  She points out that there is a seat in the back row of our family car, between she and Joel.  "That's where Gabe sits."  And when she asked about the key
Read more

My Tattoos...

Image
I wanted to give some background and explanation on my little pieces of art.  I got my first “tat” (Is it still cool to call them that?) when I was only 18.  I actually got my nose pierced on my legal birthday, and then just a month later I was ready to rebel some more.  Ah, youth…   Truth be told, if I could go back in time and never start this little body modification hobby, I would.  Once I hit my mid-20’s, I realized some of my tattoos had no significant meaning.  In the very least, they didn’t reflect the most important aspect of my life – my relationship with Jesus.   Thus starting my quest to spiritualize what I was working with.  And I can finally say I am very happy with what I have on my body right now.  I would still love a memorial tattoo for my Gabey, but every time I try to decide what to get, nothing ever seems good enough to capture his memory.  So, here’s a tour… My first tattoo is actually the only one you won’t see a picture of.  It’s a Chinese character.  On
Read more

Horrible, Thanks for Asking

Image
Almost ten years ago, I delivered the baby boy who would die in my arms just two hours later.  But we had months to prepare for this reality.  His fatal diagnosis had come sixteen weeks before.  So there was no baby shower.  No celebration of the life about to begin.  We didn't have a nursery full of items we’d have to return with a sorrowful explanation.   That hasn’t been the case for my best friend. Two months ago today, I sat by her side as she tearfully and reluctantly pushed her baby girl into this world.   Silence.   Just the sounds of our gasps at the beauty of her perfect face.   There she was.   The miracle baby no one thought would come.  The one we were all so looking forward to meeting.    In absolute perfect form, but already gone.   It was surreal, like there was no way this was actually happening.   Not again.  Not to my Laura.   It was somehow holy, the thick presence of death also brought the sure presence of God.   It was beautiful, because here sh
Read more