The Desire to go Natural
By definition, natural means: Existing in or caused by nature; not made or caused by humankind.
A few weeks ago, I mentioned that my hope is to deliver Miss Ruby Mae completely naturally. I thought we'd discuss more about that this week. Let's start with that definition - wow! Labor and birth are both natural things, seen in nature, an act created by God. How appropriate!
I have many friends who think I'm crazy and remind me often that delivering without pain management does not mean the nurses will bring me a medal or a trophy... Wait. What? But I've already cleared a space on my mantle! Just kidding. I know I won't be getting any high honors if I'm able to complete this feat, but it's something that is very important to me. I wanted to explain a little more about that, but I also wanted to open up the comment section for other mommas out there to give me tips, advice, etc.
So, why do I want to do this? Although I've delivered three babies with three epidurals, natural childbirth has been something I've desired all along. I was one of those overly-eager gals who read pregnancy books years before I conceived a child. I've been fascinated with this subject for over ten years now. I love watching documentaries on childbirth and labor and could easily recommend a few right now for you: The Business of Being Born, Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin and the Farm Midwives, and Pregnant in America.
So, then, how did I end up getting pain medicine three times? Well, I'll tell you... I was my most stubborn about not getting an epidural the first time around - for fear that any medical intervention would ultimately lead to a cesarean section, as it often does. But, like most circumstances in my life, it was an opportunity for God to remind me that I'm not in control. My water broke and my contractions did not immediately proceed. It's so not how it is in the movies: Gush of water in a very public place, pains begin immediately, try out your panting and breathing skills, some sweating, and meet your baby. Um, no.
I am so grateful that I attend a medical practice with caring midwives (who outnumber the doctors), and who all understood my desire for a natural labor. They allowed me to walk the hospital grounds for hours before breaking the news that I would need pitocin, due to the policy that babies must be born within 24 hours of your waters breaking. I labored for even more hours with the devil-that-is-known-as pitocin before I finally gave in and got an epidural. Why? Sixteen hours into this ordeal, I was checked and found to be at 4cm. That was a huge blow, physically and emotionally. For me, the epidural allowed me to relax and rest, and I feel strongly that I would have ended up with a c-section had I not had the pain relief. Funny how that works. But, I was not able to deliver without the doctor sticking his head in reminding everyone that I was nearing that 24 hour mark. How helpful. Joel was born 22 hours after I broke my water. And I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing it was to have a midwife who looked straight into my eyes, told me to ignore that doctor, and reminded me that I could do it!
The second time around, there were even more extenuated circumstances. My baby was given a fatal diagnosis at our 20 week ultrasound, as he was growing without his kidneys and would not be able to survive outside the womb. He had very little fluid to move around, and was in a transverse position (side to side, rather than up and down) for the majority of the pregnancy. Miraculously, he moved into a (butt-down) breech position, and I was granted special permission to have him naturally (meaning vaginally). Had he not moved out of his transverse position, I would have had to have a c-section. Because he wasn't coming out head first, I was strongly advised to get an epidural so that my body would be in the most relaxed state possible to be able to deliver him. The greatest thing I learned in this labor, was that I was able to manage my contraction pains much better without the intervention of pitocin. This gave me great confidence that I could handle what my body was doing. And yet, I decided on an epidural once again with baby number three...
With Zoe, my water broke hours before painful contractions started. Again. We were warned by nurses and counselors that her labor might be emotionally traumatic - that my labor pains might trigger the memories of the last time I was in labor, during the delivery of Gabriel. I was tearful, and remembered how nice it was to have pain relief the last two times, so six hours after my water broke - I gave in and got yet another epidural. The greatest thing I learned in this labor was that not all epidurals are easily inserted and give you amazing relief. What? Wasn't expecting that at all. But, it was true. Not only did it make me very nauseated and shaky, but I could tell immediately that it didn't really take, and within a few hours I had one leg dangling off the hospital bed so that I could bear down and get this baby out myself! Once the pushing process started, I just kept informing my husband and midwife that I was feeling everything! Obviously, it wasn't that horrific, because I don't remember anything other than the fact that I just kept saying that - as if they needed to be notified, like that was going to change anything.
Now, here's the crazy part. Zoe's labor and delivery was by far the most felt, and therefore most painful, of all three labors. And you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way. Epidurals are just so unpredictable. They might be amazing, like with Gabriel - took away the pain, but I felt all the pressure and was able to push very effectively. They might work too well, like with Joel - I didn't feel much and pushing took a long time. Or they might not work at all, like with Zoe - and you can actually feel the baby moving down the birth canal and out of your body.
And that's exactly the experience I want this time around. I want to feel it - every painful contraction as well as the actual birth. And maybe it's because I just started running (for the first time in my life) a year after having Zoe, but I now understand the illustration that labor is like a marathon. You should be prepared, you should train. It will be hard. And it will be worth it.
So, Mommas, now I want to hear from you. If you did things naturally, how did you prepare? What methods did you use - Bradley, cuss words, Lamaze, the use of water, Hypnobirthing, punching and hitting, etc? What things were helpful to pack for the hospital - snacks, music, lotions? What things did your hospital have that you loved - I've used birthing balls and the shower in the past, but this time will have access to a bath! Please remember, I'd like this to be place of encouragement and love.
(And because I know it needs to be said - I know everyone's experience of labor and childbirth is a precious and momentous time. There are many ways your babies can enter the world - through completely natural labors or via cesarean section, or anything in between. But, as long as you have the same end result: a precious baby, we all leave with a precious gift. And that is the most important thing.)
A few weeks ago, I mentioned that my hope is to deliver Miss Ruby Mae completely naturally. I thought we'd discuss more about that this week. Let's start with that definition - wow! Labor and birth are both natural things, seen in nature, an act created by God. How appropriate!
I have many friends who think I'm crazy and remind me often that delivering without pain management does not mean the nurses will bring me a medal or a trophy... Wait. What? But I've already cleared a space on my mantle! Just kidding. I know I won't be getting any high honors if I'm able to complete this feat, but it's something that is very important to me. I wanted to explain a little more about that, but I also wanted to open up the comment section for other mommas out there to give me tips, advice, etc.
So, why do I want to do this? Although I've delivered three babies with three epidurals, natural childbirth has been something I've desired all along. I was one of those overly-eager gals who read pregnancy books years before I conceived a child. I've been fascinated with this subject for over ten years now. I love watching documentaries on childbirth and labor and could easily recommend a few right now for you: The Business of Being Born, Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin and the Farm Midwives, and Pregnant in America.
So, then, how did I end up getting pain medicine three times? Well, I'll tell you... I was my most stubborn about not getting an epidural the first time around - for fear that any medical intervention would ultimately lead to a cesarean section, as it often does. But, like most circumstances in my life, it was an opportunity for God to remind me that I'm not in control. My water broke and my contractions did not immediately proceed. It's so not how it is in the movies: Gush of water in a very public place, pains begin immediately, try out your panting and breathing skills, some sweating, and meet your baby. Um, no.
I am so grateful that I attend a medical practice with caring midwives (who outnumber the doctors), and who all understood my desire for a natural labor. They allowed me to walk the hospital grounds for hours before breaking the news that I would need pitocin, due to the policy that babies must be born within 24 hours of your waters breaking. I labored for even more hours with the devil-that-is-known-as pitocin before I finally gave in and got an epidural. Why? Sixteen hours into this ordeal, I was checked and found to be at 4cm. That was a huge blow, physically and emotionally. For me, the epidural allowed me to relax and rest, and I feel strongly that I would have ended up with a c-section had I not had the pain relief. Funny how that works. But, I was not able to deliver without the doctor sticking his head in reminding everyone that I was nearing that 24 hour mark. How helpful. Joel was born 22 hours after I broke my water. And I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing it was to have a midwife who looked straight into my eyes, told me to ignore that doctor, and reminded me that I could do it!
The second time around, there were even more extenuated circumstances. My baby was given a fatal diagnosis at our 20 week ultrasound, as he was growing without his kidneys and would not be able to survive outside the womb. He had very little fluid to move around, and was in a transverse position (side to side, rather than up and down) for the majority of the pregnancy. Miraculously, he moved into a (butt-down) breech position, and I was granted special permission to have him naturally (meaning vaginally). Had he not moved out of his transverse position, I would have had to have a c-section. Because he wasn't coming out head first, I was strongly advised to get an epidural so that my body would be in the most relaxed state possible to be able to deliver him. The greatest thing I learned in this labor, was that I was able to manage my contraction pains much better without the intervention of pitocin. This gave me great confidence that I could handle what my body was doing. And yet, I decided on an epidural once again with baby number three...
With Zoe, my water broke hours before painful contractions started. Again. We were warned by nurses and counselors that her labor might be emotionally traumatic - that my labor pains might trigger the memories of the last time I was in labor, during the delivery of Gabriel. I was tearful, and remembered how nice it was to have pain relief the last two times, so six hours after my water broke - I gave in and got yet another epidural. The greatest thing I learned in this labor was that not all epidurals are easily inserted and give you amazing relief. What? Wasn't expecting that at all. But, it was true. Not only did it make me very nauseated and shaky, but I could tell immediately that it didn't really take, and within a few hours I had one leg dangling off the hospital bed so that I could bear down and get this baby out myself! Once the pushing process started, I just kept informing my husband and midwife that I was feeling everything! Obviously, it wasn't that horrific, because I don't remember anything other than the fact that I just kept saying that - as if they needed to be notified, like that was going to change anything.
Now, here's the crazy part. Zoe's labor and delivery was by far the most felt, and therefore most painful, of all three labors. And you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way. Epidurals are just so unpredictable. They might be amazing, like with Gabriel - took away the pain, but I felt all the pressure and was able to push very effectively. They might work too well, like with Joel - I didn't feel much and pushing took a long time. Or they might not work at all, like with Zoe - and you can actually feel the baby moving down the birth canal and out of your body.
And that's exactly the experience I want this time around. I want to feel it - every painful contraction as well as the actual birth. And maybe it's because I just started running (for the first time in my life) a year after having Zoe, but I now understand the illustration that labor is like a marathon. You should be prepared, you should train. It will be hard. And it will be worth it.
So, Mommas, now I want to hear from you. If you did things naturally, how did you prepare? What methods did you use - Bradley, cuss words, Lamaze, the use of water, Hypnobirthing, punching and hitting, etc? What things were helpful to pack for the hospital - snacks, music, lotions? What things did your hospital have that you loved - I've used birthing balls and the shower in the past, but this time will have access to a bath! Please remember, I'd like this to be place of encouragement and love.
(And because I know it needs to be said - I know everyone's experience of labor and childbirth is a precious and momentous time. There are many ways your babies can enter the world - through completely natural labors or via cesarean section, or anything in between. But, as long as you have the same end result: a precious baby, we all leave with a precious gift. And that is the most important thing.)
I had Pitocin with both. Granted, I was also diabetic with both. There are alternatives you can choose that will take the edge off, but you can still feel the process of labor and delivery.
ReplyDeleteI'll refer you here ---> http://brandienbrown.blogspot.com/2012_01_01_archive.html Landon's birth.
I went natural with my first and then had epidurals with my second two, and honestly if I had it to do again, I would definately have an epidural. And all my labors were 10 hours.
ReplyDeleteMeg, You can totally do this! Natural childbirth is NOT for everyone. I don't recommend it if you are scared of natural childbirth at all, but there is nothing to fear. You know I had my first naturally and I'm hoping to do that again. However, having an open mind that you are willing to adapt if things go wrong during labor is important. It was for me. I just figured I would continue to labor until I felt like I needed to change what I was doing. The end result was a smooth labor and delivery. Now don't get me wrong, it hurts. But as my doctor informed me while I was pushing, "This is going to hurt". You're having a baby! I tried reading a lot of books. Hypnobirthing, some Bradley stuff, etc. My favorite book is Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel. Practical advice to advocate for yourself and your natural process. It sounds like your midwifes are supportive. Honestly, don't read too much. All those books are overwhelming. You've done this before. Just know you CAN do it. Never doubt that. You are in shape, you're ready. It's shocking to me how big of a deal people make about the pain of childbirth without ever having experienced it fully. It's not that bad. So that sounds crazy! It hurts, but it's not that bad! Be flexible and willing to do whatever it takes to have a safe delivery, but let your body do what it knows how to do. It's pretty amazing! And the life and energy I saw in June as soon as she was born was incredible. She was so alert and immediately latched on to the breast. Trust that God is with you and you have nothing to fear:)
ReplyDelete