Shining through the Sorrow

Hello sweet readers.  Well, it's Thursday and I *just* remembered that I said I'd post a new blog entry every Wednesday.  Let's just blame that on the Prego Brain, mmkay? Not much new over here.  The hubby and I have fallen in love with Downton Abbey and will be watching the season two finale tonight! So excited!  I actually did the dumbest thing ever and searched "Downton Abbey" in Pinterest and totally outed some pretty major events that apparently happen in season three??  I keep asking Kyle if I can ruin the show for him now too, since I'm now watching just waiting for these things to unfold... Joel continues to do beautifully in Preschool and has his official Kindergarten registration/testing next week.  Wowsers.  Total momma brag coming up:  Found out that he's been doing so well with memorizing his scripture verses that he has more stickers than anyone in his class!!  My friend, who saw the sticker chart and reported the good news,...

23 weeks 3 days - Ruby 23 weeks - Joel 23 weeks - Gabriel 24 weeks Zoe Man, they aren't kidding when they say "every pregnancy is different!"  It's hard to believe how different each of my pregnancies have been... Joel - Heartburn was first symptom, and continued throughout pregnancy.  Craved cereal and milk.  Was told I could gain between 25 and 35 pounds and was thrilled to discover I hit that mark right in the middle, at 30 pounds.  He was born early at 37 weeks after my water broke.  I wanted a natural birth, but ended up getting an epidural 11 hours later.  Labor was 22 hours from water breaking to birth.  He weighed 7lbs 11oz. Gabriel - Had heartburn as well, but by far the most annoying symptom during this pregnancy was the early false labor, which started weeks before he actually came.  Gained 20 pounds, had very little appetite - probably due to the intense sadness (read about Gabe's story HERE ).  He was born ear...

Hello dear friends.  As I'm typing this I am currently 23 weeks pregnant.  Unfortunately, I am no longer having an aversion to sweet things, and want them now more than ever.  I have continued to put on a few pounds, which I'm sure isn't related to the previous sentence at all.  ;) Baby Ruby moves often, and I won't be surprised if she's rambunctious once she enters this world.  Pity, when I put in my order I specifically asked for a calm, content baby??  According to BabyCenter, she's more than 11 inches long now and weighs as much as a large mango.  Good to know. It's really hard to believe that I'm six months along now and that we'll have a new addition to our family very soon.  It's even harder to believe that my now baby, Zoe, won't be my baby anymore.  I know all about the phenomenon that occurs when you come home with a newborn and your toddler suddenly seems large enough to enter middle school.  And let me tell you, I'm no...

As a Momma, you constantly have a running list of numbers you have to remember.  Just in case, at any given time, someone asks you how old Kid A is, or how far along you are in your pregnancy, etc.  So, the list of numbers in my head right now is as follows- Big Brother will be five in June, Little Girl is almost 19 months old, and I'm 22 weeks along with number four. As I was relaying all this data to someone recently, it hit me like a ton of bricks that if those are the ages of all the kids here with me, that means that Gabe would be turning four this summer! It was a very strange feeling.  The best way I can describe it is that in my mind, the son I lost, the son I don't have here with me, is a little baby boy.  He's swaddled in a soft white blanket.  He's being held and loved in a hospital bed.  His facial features look just like mine, like looking in a mirror.  My sister points out his little nose, and his sweet lips, and the little curls on hi...

After five months of shaking my head "no," I have decided to join my church's Counseling Ministry. Truth be told, I've been very busy convincing myself that the timing just wasn't right - being a stay at home mom with small children, due with another this June .  But there was no escaping the obvious tug my heart was feeling on a weekly basis - as I heard story after story of those who are hurting, and thought about how my skills could be used to help others.  I finally realized that it does not matter what I've got going on in MY life, I am being called to do this.  And to do it now. At first I assumed my "ministry" would be to pray for and walk along side other parents who are grieving.  Losing Gabriel has given me immense empathy for those dealing with grief and loss.  Because I've been blogging since April 2009 - I literally have pictures, words, and memories I can share with others, but I began to realize what a ...