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Table for Six

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It's been almost eight years since we had our Gabriel.  Since we lost our Gabriel.  Over the past several years, one child in this family has continued to talk about him the most.  Joel, now nine years old and the only sibling to have the chance to actually meet his brother, doesn't often speak his name these days.  He is, however, very protective of his "Gabey Bear" that he sleeps with every night, and goes to find when he's sad or hurt.  I'm still not sure Ruby, who just turned four, completely understands that she has a brother who is no longer with us.  The only photos she's ever seen of him are obviously baby pictures from the day he was born, but she does usually ask if every random picture she sees of a baby, is our Gabriel.  But our Zoe, almost six, talks about him all the time.  She points out that there is a seat in the back row of our family car, between she and Joel.  "That's where Gabe sits."  And when she asked about th...
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Meeting Angie Smith

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Almost a month ago now, I had the amazing opportunity to meet Angie Smith! She is married to the lead singer of the Christian band, Selah, and the story of their daughter Audrey is heard through their song " I Will Carry You." (Click here to listen that song, and see amazing photographs from her family.)  I haven't seen it yet, but I just read that the Duggars found so much comfort through those lyrics, that they used them in the episode about losing their sweet daughter, Jubilee. Along with being a mom of, now, FIVE girls, Angie is also amazingly funny - both in person and on her blog, Bring the Rain . She's an author of two books , and although she's very frightened by it, is an amazing public speaker! She's so real, so hysterical, so lovely. I had the great privilege of hearing her speak at the One Day Women of Faith Event in Baltimore, MD... and that's where it happened... I met her! Like, in person! And, got to speak to her! Can't wait to te...
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Four Little Ones

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What does grief feel like when you are this many years out from the day you said both "hello" and "goodbye" to your precious one?  When the world has forgotten, but your heart still remembers?  The number one thing people tell me about this blog is that it allows them to see what grief looks like through various stages.  So, when Facebook reminded me that it was on THIS day, eight years ago, that we announced we were pregnant with our second child, I made myself sit down and write about my precious Gabriel . Here’s a riddle.  What do playdates and doctor visits have in common?  They both want your childbearing history.  I can’t tell a doctor I only have four kids, because they need to know that I birthed five.  If you’re not a momma, this may not make sense to you - But let me assure you, after talking with a variety of doctors this past year about my dislocated tailbone, they ALL asked for my complete prenatal history.  So for anyone who thi...
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