Sharing my stories of FAITH and FAMILY after the tremendous loss of our precious son...
My Zoe Girl
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Ah, motherhood. The days are long, but the years fly by. Zoe will be 21 months in a matter of days, and my days have been dragging, to put it nicely... The time between 18 months and two years was very stressful with Joel, which made me worry about the dreaded Terrible Twos, and Tenacious Threes - but then the craziest thing happened - as soon as he turned two, and his vocabulary started to soar, he was a pleasure to be around again! He went through Terrific Twos, Tremendous Threes, and Fabulous Fours! I can only hope and pray that Zoe will follow that same pattern...
Personality-wise, she's been pretty much the opposite of her big brother. She's sassy, funny, and full of attitude. She loves to make others laugh, and often makes silly faces during dinner just to get a rise out of my hubby and I. She knows what she wants and gets terribly upset when we can't figure out what that is. This is why I'm hoping an expanding vocab will serve her well. She's saying more and more every week, which has been exciting to see! The other day she had a playdate with two older girls who sang "Twinkle, Twinkle" a few times that morning. As soon as we got home, I realized she was trying to sing the new song she just heard! I took this video for you to enjoy:
She may be full of attitude, but the girl is beautiful so she's got that working in her favor. And she's recently become quite the cuddle bug, which can heal most issues. Check out these current photos:
Like my big girl hair??
Being silly, of course!
My pretty girl, looking so grown up!
Always a comforting hand...
And here's a comparison shot - Sleeping in the carseat
Almost a month ago now, I had the amazing opportunity to meet Angie Smith! She is married to the lead singer of the Christian band, Selah, and the story of their daughter Audrey is heard through their song " I Will Carry You." (Click here to listen that song, and see amazing photographs from her family.) I haven't seen it yet, but I just read that the Duggars found so much comfort through those lyrics, that they used them in the episode about losing their sweet daughter, Jubilee. Along with being a mom of, now, FIVE girls, Angie is also amazingly funny - both in person and on her blog, Bring the Rain . She's an author of two books , and although she's very frightened by it, is an amazing public speaker! She's so real, so hysterical, so lovely. I had the great privilege of hearing her speak at the One Day Women of Faith Event in Baltimore, MD... and that's where it happened... I met her! Like, in person! And, got to speak to her! Can't wait to te...
I am many things. I am easily discouraged. I am easily offended. These are my faults. I don't wear them proudly, but I can't seem to shake them. So often I think about my Gabriel and the emotions get stirred up, and I wonder if a blog needs to be written. I consider whether the writing would be healing and whether anyone needs to read my words. And what always happens is that I am reminded of those who couldn't be troubled with my tremendous loss, or who simply don't get it. And that overshadows the much larger number of people who have either been in my shoes, or have enough empathy in their soul to care. "Why is his picture hanging in your home?" "You appear to work harder at celebrating death more than life." "You just need to get over it already." "How long has it been now?" Should my personal story and intense heartbreak be on public display for all to see? Should I continue to honor my son's short lif...
Ruby Mae So, yeah, we found out the gender. Surprise!! I wasn't lying; I honestly had no intentions of finding out. That is, until, we scheduled the anatomy scan. And then the curiosity got the best of me. I cannot even express in adequate words how blessed I'm feeling right now. All weekend, I was literally convinced this baby was not okay. Yet now, here I am, beaming with the knowledge that all is well. Our ultrasound tech clearly knew our history, as the first two things she pointed out to us were the giant amount of fluid surrounding baby, and both of baby's kidneys. Insert huge sigh of relief. Our little girl was modest, with both her lower parts and her precious face. But, we did get confirmation that this is another little girl. Seriously, how blessed am I?! Two boys, two girls... As I sat in awe that not only was baby completely healthy, but that we are having a little girl - it hit me....
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